Wallbanging Beautiful Bastards

So I was feeling a little retro and decided to read two books that I’ve heard allot about but had yet to read. Both books released a little over a year ago so what better way to spend this Thanksgiving break than with some throwback smut.

 

 

wallI started with Wallbanger by Alice Clayton, book 1 of the Cocktail Series.

Caroline Reynolds is an interior designer with a great rent controlled apartment in San Francisco. After finally unpacking the last box and getting everything in place she and Clive, her crazy cat, settle in bed for the night when the walls start shaking. Being in Cali she assumed it was earthquake until she hears the unmistakable moan of woman then the “CRACK” of an ass slap. That’s right the walls were shaking and someone was enjoying the hell out of that headboard banging and it wasn’t Caroline. Damn her neighbor she wasn’t going to get any sleep.

Simon Parker is the Wallbanging neighbor. He is a photographer with a “harem” of women whom he services when he is in town. During one particularly rousing session he gets interrupted by a firecracker in a pink nightie complaining about the plaster being “banged” off her walls.

This book was so much fun to read. I found myself smiling if not laughing the entire time I was reading it. It was sweet, romantic, funny, and the banter between Caroline and Simon was utterly hilarious. I loved that they initially hated each other and didn’t just fall into bed then love like most romantic novels.

“Now, you listen, mister.” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.”

I am sure everyone has already read this one but if you hadn’t dammit you should. Each character in the book was well written and played their position perfectly. I loved it! 5 out of 5 funny stars for this start to the Cocktail Series.

Then I read Beautiful Bastards by Christina Lauren BeautifulBastard2013Cover this was smut to the MAX! Not the smuttiest of the smut I’ve read but I found myself skipping some of the sex scenes just to get to some actually dialogue. I mean seriously how much snooking can two people do! The story revolves around asshole marketing exec Bennett Ryan of the Ryan Media Group he is hot, horny and a business genius. He takes no bull from anyone and mediocrity will get you killed in his book. His intern Chloe Mills is beautiful, smart and doesn’t take his shit unless it’s when he is ripping off her panties. Something he does all too often.

This was something to fill my morning as I was putting off writing my Health paper..ugh. The story was ok and I loved the constant bickering between Chloe and Bennett that eventually turned into hot and heavy sexing but good lord in heaven how many times does and argument end in sex? Me and my husband argue all the time and it doesn’t end with a trip to La Perla because he ripped my panties off it usually ends with “I’m sorry dear how bout I wash the dishes for a week to make it up to you” yup my friends that right there is sexy to me. My man knows what I like LOL. But seriously the amount of sex in this book was alarming, sexy, hot and wonderful but also alarming. I surprised they weren’t chaffed by 65% of the book. Oh well 3.5 out of 5 stars for this snook-fest.

 

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