Yup I am claiming it right now!! I’ve read several books so far this year and this book is by far the best I’ve read in 2015. The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn is so funny, quirky, romantic and just…EVERYTHING. I enjoyed this book so much that I considered spoiling it. Seriously, I will do my best to not spoil it. I sincerely promise to try. Notice I said TRY
Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch…
Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about meat sword? That’s what it is…a meat sword, right, all meaty and sword like, slaying through the inner dungeons of a woman’s dark desires. What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?
God, I have no idea what happens when private parts touch.
I’m a virgin trying to write a romance novel and can’t seem to write past a sex scene thanks to my lack of experience.
My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen for a while and gain some real life practice through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups.
But losing my virginity is proving to be tougher than expected…
As you can see from the blurb this book is f*cking hilarious. Funny thing is I often wondered where in the world some of these authors come up with their descriptions for said body parts and their functions. But “briar patch” WTF is that anyway? I seriously Googled it (don’t judge me). So Rosie is our virgin romance novelist and I am in love with her. She is so naïve and at some points I found myself rolling my eyes thinking that in the age of Google there is no way she is this damn foolish. Her inner monologue had me laughing so hard I was literally crying tears it was that funny. I’m talking serious laugh out loud randomly, mascara ruining, had to take my Kindle to the car because my boss was sick of me laughing kind of funny.
Rosie’s two best friends and roommates Delaney and Henry decide they are going to help her lose her virginity so when she writes about it in her novel she will not only have first hand knowledge she will be able to describe a vagina a little better than briar patch or a lady’s pleasure garden or sweet lady folds. Seriously who does that??!!
*****SEMI SPOILER ALERT**** To test the waters they decide to give Rosie her first vibrator..a bullet. This was my first LOL experience with this book and it was only chapter 2.
Sweat continued to form on my skin, as I thought about the consequences of having a vibrator stuck in my vagina; this could not be happening. I was not about to go to the doctor to have him pull a vibrator out of me, so I stood up, lifted my shirt up so I could look at what I was doing and spread my legs like a Sumo wrestler. “Come on, you little bitch,” I swore, as I jumped up and down in my squatted position wishing my vagina would stop contracting around the damn thing.
Yeah so you can see where this is going. I love all her first experiences and how she journals them. Some of the stuff I could totally relate to while others just seemed like something out of an episode of Girls. This book was fantastically funny. I don’t know how else to explain it without going into to great detail. I love all the characters even the ball-licking cat she so affectionately nicknamed Sir-Licks-A-Lot. Each character was fun to read and Henry was the simply the best. I fell in love with him a little more when he offered to “hold her hair” (you have to read it to understand).
So 5++++ stars for this romantic comedy that had made it to my Top Ten of 2015 list as book #1
To purchase The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn click here